It Won’t Float

3 Sep

They don’t land on water, do they? If they do, they don’t float very long. So, I was very surprised to round a curve in the country lane and find this strange sight. I pulled off the paved road, onto a grassy shoulder, and into frightened non-belief. The balloon was coming down, down, very slowly, but down for sure. A mechanical failure? Pilot error? That’s a pond, in case you haven’t figured it out. Then, with one blast from the onboard heat source, the colorful giant stopped its descent, held steady for a moment about 24 inches above the wet, and then started to climb. Up and up until it cleared the trees and floated away on a friendly breeze. Now, I offer this advice for the next time you ride in a porous wicker basket under a hot-air balloon over the lovely countryside, near a small pond. Consider the natural order of life: Wicker baskets don’t float, and the last time I looked, there was no flight attendant demonstrating the proper use of an inflatable onboard the average passenger basket. But, then, maybe you are a card-carrying member of the “I’ll Try Anything Once” club. Trust me, once is all you’ll get with a basket full of people, a flame torch and a bad idea. Stick to mahjong. It’s healthier. Unless, of course, you’re a poet…Roses are red, violets are blue…hmm. The theological insight? Hmm. Subtle, isn’t it.

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