Do You Understand Me?

“O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be understood as to understand…”

On page 37 of the How To Raise Children parents’ manual, it says: When dealing with an obstinate child, position yourself directly in front of the offender, appear to squint your eyes, thus furrowing your brow, and while shaking your finger in his or her face, say: “Do you UNDERSTAND me?”

Funny thing. I bump into people all the time who think I’m their child…big people, grown up people who tore page 37 out of the manual and carry it in their pockets. Their goal in life, it seems, is to convince the rest of us that they are right, informed, authoritative and commissioned to correct to their way of thinking or behaving. “I” “Me” and “My” are their favorite words.

Not so with Francis in his prayer. Lord, he prays, help me understand before being understood; help me listen before lecturing. It’s not that what Francis had to say was unimportant; it was that his love and concern for his neighbor caused him to think of neighbor first, self second. Sound familiar? Francis learned that from a man named Jesus.

Today, no matter who crosses your path: listen first, speak second. Listen with your heart. Hear the other person before you correct or set him straight. That’s the way of Jesus. It’s called loving your neighbor as yourself. Do you UNDERSTAND me?

Afterthought: Some people think page 37 works with spouses. Not recommended. But you didn’t hear it from me.